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boy

by hotel bibles

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1.
i am on my own i am on my own i am on my own i am on my own
2.
no brain 01:49
i said look outside the sky looks so pretty but you wont listen to me i said look at the sky and look at the water and look at the trees but you wont fucking listen to me but you wont fucking listen to me
3.
i adore you i adore you breathe out your eyes and i’ll scream from mine i miss the way i saw you at night
4.
captain dog 05:01
the shadows reminded me of home but now they remind me i’m a ghost and i wonder why i’m cold but then i remember my wet clothes why isnt there nearly as much you as there is sky when we went to see ur grandads grave we watched the dead get high on the next life and in the rotting flowers, rock and tall grass i think i felt alive do u want to know about my broken nose and my bank notes i am all alone i broke in through ur window window do u want to know about all the water on my raincoat i am all alone living on my boat my boat i wish i didnt feel as weak (only half way through the week) u pushed me in the sea (i didnt realise it was this deep) and the sharks are hungry for me (theres blood from the cuts on my knees) and the shore’s just out of reach do u want to know about my broken nose and my bank notes i am all alone i broke in through ur window window do u want to know about all the water on my raincoat i am all alone living on my boat my boat do u want to know about my broken nose and my bank notes i am all alone i broke in through ur window window do u want to know about all the water on my raincoat i am all alone i can’t keep afloat afloat
5.
when i’m gone and when i’m lonely i sit in the car and pretend that i’m not me and it helps a little to think that i’m nothing for a little while when i’m fine and when i’m happy i sleep in the bath and pretend i’m dreaming but it never helps because i’m so little compared to everything i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me i’m not me
6.
i opened my eyes to see you it’s fine weather we’re having don’t you think pretty little world pretty little beautiful world you kill me but i still love you i won’t open my eyes unless i see you it’s kind of you to say you love me too pretty little girl pretty little beautiful girl i kill you but you still love me
7.
these days it seems im either dry and cold or sweaty and hot i dont have riches all i eat is cold toast with spaghetti on top please steer me steady so i won’t forget you or my path home and im not ready to go on without you in my new home
8.
i see shadows in my room but they arent mine and i am the only one here tonight where does air and sky meet are we all just floating am i stood in the sky right now hey god is this a game to you all the things u take all the shit u do and i know that ur not living but that doesnt mean i shouldnt before im old and out of time i’ll forget what it feels like to feel alive but in my last few seconds i know i’ll never forget it its hard to say its not you its me because how could i miss something i never had and my sense of self is fleeting lately am i pure evil or am i the worst thing the world has ever had is this real or is this a dream i wake up and think the exact same thing
9.
u found all my spare change in my pockets all the change that i needed because i need to change i had a vision of me ripping ur eyes out ur sockets give me back my money i need it to pay beat me black oh black and blue hold me close because its fine when im with u i found the skeleton in ur closet i never thought that it would be me get ur greasy hands out of my pockets can’t u see what all this bleach does to me bleach me black oh black and blue i take it back dont u see that i need u
10.
honey 01:17
i'm dirty and warm i think ive fallen in love sucking the sweet stuff off my fingers i hope all this sugar kills me i’m dirty and pure i’m coming back for more sticking a fork in a toaster is a dangerous game i hope it fukcing kills me im dirty and sickly knowing ill never be pretty ill smash every mirror so i dont have to see myself i hope the broken glass will kill me
11.
will you always need me when i’m sick or i am dead because i cant help thinking that you are my only friend do you even love me do you even love me do you even love me why would you ever love a thing like me because you are a shining sun and i am your starry night i feel like we are one i just wish you didn’t have to say goodbye and i get so scared of life i might need you to hold me because when i look in your eyes i see the whole me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me
12.
bleh 00:55
everybody dies but no one dies for me every night i have a nightmare but then i wake up and it’s the same everybody cries but no one cries for me no one will feel sorry for me until i’m dead if anyone cries at my funeral i’ll make sure they die too
13.
necklace 02:03
theres holes in my shoes but i still love them theres ants in my food but i wont kill them ur the pretty flowers i can see in my garden ur the colour of the sky when the sun is golden there’s a light on the hill that i watch at night it reminds me that there are other people who are alive but sometimes when it’s foggy or when i go blind the light doesn’t reach my eyes
14.
bedroom eyes oh you’re so mine i can’t wait to get away trophy case its full of lies pull me in and tuck me under im not one for being blunt but i must say that i can’t wait pretty words they don’t come easy so ill whisper them in your ears while your sleeping to make sure you’re happy dreaming of something pretty porcelain cracks things i can’t take back i just want to make my escape bury me in the backyard im getting lost in my pillowcase pull me down and lose me in there who am i behind all my hair you said you won't leave till i go but i don’t want to go
15.
i said the world would still turn without me the sun would shine with out me the stars and moon would shine just as brightly and the world that i see all around me would just keep on spinning it’ll just keep on spinning and you said but you are the sun and you are the stars and you are the moon and you are the world and you are the sun and you are the stars and you are the moon and you are the world

about

for margo
i hope you are safe and warm
i miss you already

credits

released July 8, 2016

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hotel bibles UK

forgiveness

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